and even more concerns... Kit this time

Okay so since I've been blogging about things that are worrying me, why not continue with that thread.

There's our little Kitten. She is truly amazing and just this little powerhouse dynamo that never stops. She is a physical force to be reckoned with... truly, just mind blowing. She is so strong and she is so strong willed and she has a one track mind and singular focus on doing something once she sets her mind to it. Seriously, out of the six kids I don't remember any of them running me quite so ragged as this little whirling dervish of ours.

It's also obvious that she's clever. She understands what we say to her, she can follow two step instructions, she knows exactly what we're saying and responds appropriately. She's seems on top of things and she gets the whole family dynamic... and lets face it with five older brothers and sisters that a BIG dynamic to get a grip on and understand at only 17 mos. old.

The thing is... she doesn't talk... and it's starting to freak me out a little bit. Just a little bit. She says Mama... but only when it suits her. Today she was actually saying Mama quite a bit, much more than I've been hearing her do it for a long time now. I've heard her say Dada maybe a handful of times. I've heard her say up just twice I think, and not very recently. She HAS learned... let me think... four signs in the last week. I guess she sees us doing it with Ben and just kind of picked it up. She can do the signs for more, please, eat, and candy (why doesn't THAT one surprise me!). So she gets the whole communicating thing, I just can't get her to TALK. I try to get her to all the time and practice words with her, but she doesn't say them. I'm a bit concerned and wondering what the story is.

The thing is that back when she had just turned 11 mos. old she was talking. She was saying probably 6 to 8 words. She was saying (with some regularity) Mama, Dada, up, dat, no, my (meaning mine), and I'm sure a few others I have forgotten at this point. Then a week after she turned 11 mos. she started walking... really walking, not just taking steps here and there and she just stopped talking all together. I remembered from some of the older kids that with a huge new milestone sometimes other things fall by the wayside and told myself not to worry. We know she CAN talk but she was focusing on walking so much that talking just kind fell off the priority list for her. Well, a month went by... then two... then four... now it's been 6 mos. since she started walking and she's still not really talking again and it's starting to really worry me.

Kit is seeing the Ped on Feb. 6th for her 18 mos. check-up so I figure I'll talk to him about it then, but I wonder if I should bring her in sooner. These kids, always something to worry about and me being a natural born worrier doesn't help much does it?

So I guess we'll see. I know she hears us. I know she understands us. I know she's got a firm grip on the world around her and she's self assured and very independent... she's smart I know that. She's doing great and growing well and eats great. So I should just count my blessings and shut up I suppose... but I'm a mom... I worry.

Concerns about Patch

With six kids I guess there's always something right?

Patch has always been a very sharp kid. Even as a little tiny guy he had an amazing vocabulary and ability to communicate in a really expressive way. Something that endlessly amazed both his father and I. He was quick and sharp and so very clever... and we love that here.

Over the years we've noticed a hesitancy in Patch's speech though. He doesn't speak as quickly or easily as he used to. He pauses, he repeats himself... it's as if he doesn't trust what will come out of his mouth so he speaks haltingly and with great care, perhaps overly careful even. It's something we've been noticing probably for a year or a year and a half now. We didn't think much of it really. I mean there are six kids here and it can be hard to gather your thoughts in the every day din we have here.

Then when he started first grade this year he started having to read out loud to his Dad or I every day. Just little beginner reader books, that truthfully Patch finds VERY easy to read and breezes through with no difficulty at all. He has to read us his one or two books that he brings home each day and we sign the little paper saying he read them and it takes all of maybe 10 minutes. Well, with this new reading aloud assignment we noticed Patch started to mumble... a lot. He would read in a monotone running all his words together and not speaking succinctly and often making it hard for us to understand what he was saying. Which of course in turn lead to us asking him to repeat himself fairly often. We figured it was just his rush to get through the book so he could mark it as done and be finished with his homework and didn't think much of it. Then within just a few weeks of the start of school and these reading assignments Patch started mumbling ALL the time. Now he mumbles more than he speaks clearly and truly... it's maddening. We have to ask him to repeat himself very often, and always kindly, and we can SEE that it annoys him (as well as us). What else can we do though? He runs his words together and we can't understand a word he says at times.

So we're left wondering WHAT in the world is going on with him? First the hesitating and now the mumbling. Ed says he thinks that it's like Patch has no self confidence or the belief that anyone cares what he's going to say so that he hesitates and mumbles. I don't know... maybe that's it. I'm not really sure to be honest. I can see the argument for Patch having taken a hit to his self esteem (we have issues that we have been trying to deal with for a long time about Tessa cutting him off at the knees WAY too often). I just don't know.

At this point I've put a call in to the school. I'm going to discuss this with his teacher and possibly see about getting him tested by the speech therapist at his school. Maybe they can do something to help him. Can't hurt to ask right? So we'll see where this leads us.

Patch is just such a joy. I really hope we can figure out what's going on with him and help him along to gain back his wonderful ability to talk and communicate so effectively. I know that he knows that we love and adore him, maybe we just need to find a little one on one time with him to build up his self esteem again and help him correct his speech issues with kindness and love.

More food allergies :(

Okay so two nights ago... it had been a crazy day here, no time for shopping, no food in the house. We figured we'd get take out. We were going to get pizza when I remembered Kit's tomato allergy and that she can't eat pizza... and she WOULD want to. So I figured lets just avoid that entire situation and make Patch very happy at the same time and get Chinese. Brilliant right? Yeah... not so much.

Kit ate a little bit of everything - some chicken with broccoli in garlic sauce (mild), some pork lo mien, a little bit of a dumpling, some french fries (yeah, not very Chinese I know but it makes the kids happy), and some chicken from sweet & sour chicken. The place we go to uses no MSG and they are vigilant about it. That's actually the whole reason we started going there a few years ago when I was pregnant. Also Kit eats PB&J probably 5 times a week for lunch so she doesn't have a peanut allergy.

By the end of dinner she had small hives on her face and it was all red again. Another obvious allergic reaction... once more unto the almighty Benadryl. Blech. So off to bed with my bumpy little rashy girl. She slept pretty well and woke up looking mostly better, still some mild red marks on her face but better.

I can't for the life of me figure out what it was she could be allergic to though. Near as I can figure it must be something in one of the sauces or something because she's eaten all the single ingredients in the past before without any problem at all.... chicken, pork, beef, egg, rice, noodles.... so it must be something in one of the sauces :( Argh.

So... now no pizza and no Chinese in our house for a while. Oh and no pic this time, sorry.

Santa Day and the childhood joy of it all

So we're still on cloud 9 because of Ben and his first sentence this week. It was truly just an awe inspiring moment. It's been such a completely insane time prepping for the holidays but we're working on it and taking it as it comes.

Yesterday with Daddy not working and the little 3 kids home with us we decided to wash everyone and run out to the mall to see if there was any chance at all of seeing Santa. We've been talking to Ben about Santa quite a bit and I think he gets the whole concept at this point. So off we raced on a very tight time schedule since the kids had half-day at school and picking up would be an all afternoon event with kids coming home from 3 different schools (only not 4 because Patch decided he really wanted to stay home so I said what the heck and let him -- which worked out well for the Santa photo thing as it turns out.). So off we went all bundled up because it was truly just FRIGID cold here yesterday and we were on our way. We didn't say a word to the kids about Santa, just in case the line was too long and we didn't have time to wait, but we hoped.

We arrived and discovered that Santa had moved! EEEK! So we found Santa and much to our complete amazement there was NOBODY in line. NOBODY at all!! WOW! So we got everyone's coats off and flattened down as much fly-away hair as we could and they sat with Santa. Patch was very excited but... ya know he's six now, not a little baby anymore, so he played it cool and very calmly told Santa exactly what he wanted for Christmas (in our house Santa only brings ONE present). Then Ben, but Ben was so beside himself with excitement and joy that he was literally speechless! He couldn't talk, he couldn't even think... he just kept looking into Santa's face with this huge smile and joy obviously written across his little face. Santa asked him if maybe he wanted a train and Daddy said "Ben LOVES trains! How did you know?" Well OF COURSE Santa knew what Ben likes... he's Santa after all :) We told Santa that Kitten would like a dolly please and he said okay. Kit was a little uncertain about all this. She IS "Dangergirl 2.0" so she didn't cry or even fuss but she did look quite concerned the whole time sitting on Santa's lap. She's so funny that little Kitten of ours. So the mall folks took some pics, I took a few pics and Santa gave them little Santa Claus notepads. We got our pics and were off.

After we left Ben was just... I don't know... star struck maybe? He kept pointing back at Santa and saying "Danta!!!! DANTA!!!!" and seemed amazed that he had gotten to sit in his lap. It was seriously just the sweetest thing ever. I am SO glad we took him because I didn't know he would make the connection so clearly and he was obviously so impressed and so overwhelmed and just filled with joy. It was one of those great Mommy moments where you can pat yourself on the back and really say "I did a good job" and mean it.

We went to the fountain where the kids all threw pennies in and thought that was about the coolest thing ever. Kit had an absolute blast just walking around and looking into the fountain and holding on to her penny as if her very life depended on it -- despite the efforts of her two older brothers to convince her to give THEM her penny so they could throw it in. We let them wander and play for a bit and they had a lot of fun. Who knew a mall fountain could be so entertaining? It was time then so we got a little bag of M&M's for the kids to share for being so good and once more out into the frigid air to head home in hopes of getting there in time to get Emi off the bus (we were on time thank heavens!). I am just so glad we made it out there and the kids got to sit on Santa's lap. It made the boys day.

Few more pics to share... this is one of my pics of the kids sitting with Santa. I just absolutely love the looks on the boys faces - they are SO happy to be with Santa... child joy.... is there anything more beautiful? Kit looks a little concerned and unsure here, but she's holding her own. She didn't even fuss at all which was nice... now she wasn't showing us any of her big huge smiles with dimples, but she did okay I think.


Then this one pic of Kit at the fountain. I took LOTS of pics but they were either blurry from kids running or they were blocking each other so I got this one of just Kit. She LOVES new places and seeing new things and being out and about. She is so much like Emi in that way. It just makes her happy.

So.... ON WITH CHRISTMAS!!!!!

My GORGEOUS son

Not my "little boy" anymore huh? Today this gorgeous and together looking young man strode, with his long legs, into my kitchen and took my breath away. How could this handsome young man be MY son? That little tiny boy that they first put in my arms years ago?

How is it we are so incredibly blessed to have THIS young man as our own? Honestly, I sometimes feel like it's an embarassment of riches. My cup seriously runneth over.

I'm being overly shmoopy today. No apologies. I just adore this young man of ours.

My First Born Son

Gregory is 15 years old today. My God, how is that possible? It doesn't feel possible. I remember his birth like it happened a week ago, not 15 years ago. I often tell people that the day Gregory was born was the day I came completely to life. He is so special to me in so many ways, I wish I could enumerate them, but I can't.

I remember his birth and think of it so often. The day before we had been putting up our Christmas tree, with the help of my mother, as I sat and called out contractions that were still being sporadic. We went to bed and ended up getting up about 2 hours later as the contractions were 5 minutes apart and off to the hospital we went. They gave me some sedative and told me that the contractions would stop if it was false labor but also that I would get some much needed sleep since it was after 1am. I woke up around 6am as the nurse was checking on me and said "Oh I guess I'm going home huh?" still groggy and in a fog from the drugs. She smiled at me and said "Oh no, I don't think so" as she showed me the strip with all the contractions on it... so the game was afoot!

We did pit and I took a long shower to help with the back labor I was having as Ed massaged and put counter pressure on my back to alleviate some of the pain. Later Ed slept some and my mom came and went throughout the day. The pit dose went up and up and up and up but things weren't going well. I had gotten to 3cm fairly quickly and was stuck there and Gregory wasn't moving past +1 station. Finally I got an epidural just so I could ge some rest because my fear was that once I was dilated I would be too exhausted to push effectively. I remember they said "He has to leave now" motioning to Ed and I said "LIKE HELL!!!!" Aaaaah codependence thy name is Patti and Ed. So I got the epi and did manage to sleep a little bit.

Labor continued with no progress until it was 7pm and the Dr. said that Gregory was having some minor heart decels (nothing major or worrisome really) but that with my lack of progress she was thinking of doing a C-section. After what was at that point more than 26 hours of labor I said "Can you do it RIGHT NOW?" So the prep began. We had to redo my epidural because it had slipped, they had to prep the OR and all that medical stuff they do. Then Ed, white as a sheet and seriously looking like he was going to pass out at any moment, said "I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can go in there." and the nurses all rushed to him cause I swear he was WHITE... seriously white.... and kind of swaying a little bit (yes, NOW all these years later I'm laughing as I type this). I told him "You were there when this started and dammit you're not leaving me now... get him a CHAIR!!" So Ed was there, sitting by my head in a chair.... with the nurses asking every 2 minutes "You okay there Dad?" ROFLMAO! He did just fine... my man... he's something and it was frightening for him I know but he stayed with me.

The Dr. gave us the blow by blow during the surgery and was telling us what she was doing. She told us that she could see his head and was going to pull him out, and then announced that this cord was around his neck THREE times and that was probably why labor didn't go well and thank God we did the C-sec (my brother Mike has CP for the same reason). She told us she had taken him out and we waited, what seemed like an eternity, for that first cry holding our breaths. Then it happened, I heard the quietest little mewling cry and it was my son making that sound and it was like every cell in my body had been hit with lightening... literally I felt this tingling charge all over when I heard that sound. It was an incredible and truly indescribable feeling, I can't do it justice in words. It was just unreal... that was my son. I asked the Dr., trying very hard not to cry, "is it still a boy" and she laughed and said "Yes, he's still a boy."

They cleaned him off and as the nurse was handing him to Ed for the very first time I said to him "I made this for you for Christmas, it's a little early. I hope you like it." and that was it... we were both a puddle of tears and happiness and completely unencumbered joy. Ed just cried and nodded his head. He brought Gregory over to me and I got to see him and, of course, he was absolutely beautiful.

The next few hours were not good for me but that's not a story for now. When things got on track and I finally got to my room about 4 hours later I got to hold him for the first time and I did what all new mothers do I suppose. I unwrapped him and checked him out from head to foot, counting all the tiny toes and fingers, checking him over completely and he was perfect. Absolutely and completely perfect.

The first weeks with our first born child, our son, were magic. Nothing in the world seemed to matter... we had this little tiny miracle living with us. Ed's car was wrecked (without him in it, just parked on the street) because of a snowstorm and I heard Ed talking to the police officer on the phone about it. Ed laughed and said "we have a brand new son" and I wondered what that was all about. Ed said that the officer had said that Ed didn't seem very upset by this news and Ed told him that we had a brand new baby and the officer said "Oooooh I get it" and chuckled. It was just euphoria for us, the three of us. We were a family. Gregory turned us from a couple into a family and he has been a blessing and a joy to us every day since.

By Gregory's 2nd birthday he was already a big brother, telling me how loud this new little intruder into our quiet peaceful lives was. His 4th birthday found Mommy on bed rest, pregnant again with yet another little sister much to Gregory's disappointment (he was really pulling for a brother). Gregory's 9th birthday found him having been recently diagnosed with ADD and his parents and teachers pulling together to find strategies to help him AND with that little brother he'd been wanting for so long. His 12th birthday found him in Jr. High School on honor roll and with another new brother, with obvious glee at now out numbering the girls. Fourteen found him with a new little sister. Then 15, his first year of High School, new responsibilities, new freedoms, new life in oh so many ways. He's not the same little boy he used to be, he's quickly becoming a young man. We are truly LOVING having a teenager and the new relationship that comes with that, it's amazing and so powerful. Our boy, he has strong opinions and strong beliefs and he likes to share them. He has strong political leanings and has that passion that the young, especially, have about them. His father and I couldn't be more proud of the man he's turning into.

Happy Birthday my first born, my son. Do you remember when you were little? "As deep as the ocean. As high as the sky. That's how much I love my guy."

Gregory at 3 days old in the hospital...

Gregory, about 3 weeks ago

AAAAAH! ALLERGIES!

The new thing we learned in the adventure of parenting this week is that Kitten has a HORRIBLE tomato allergy. Not anaphalactic or anything like that, but still not a good thing. Here... let me show you... this is the Kitten's "squinky" face as we call it... she only shows it to us when she's really mad. I guess she didn't feel this picture would be flattering ;)

This is Kitten two days after eating pizza and successfully covering her face in tomato sauce. She ate and was happy, becuase God bless that girl one thing that I adore about her is that she will eat anything you put in front of her. I cleaned off her face after dinner and there was this awful raised, raw blood red rash . I immediately saw it was a bad allergic reaction and went in search of the trusty old Benadryl. I actually had to call the Dr. but just to get dosing information cause our little Kitten is such a peanut I wanted to double check the dose since the Benadryl bottle starts it's dosing information at age 6.

So now we know... Kit has a tomato allergy. No more shmeering pizza for her. I guess it's a good thing that I've been giving her pasta with butter on it still instead of sauce. Never a dull moment! LOL!